I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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