So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
