Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
