oh god the rape fog is back!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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