i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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