Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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