I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
This house was built for laser tag.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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