He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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