What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
