Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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