I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
