absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
