Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
