I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize