I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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