she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
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No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
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If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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