What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
