Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
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She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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