You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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