I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
