Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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