In the future we'll all be gay
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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