Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
