Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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