we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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