i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
