Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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