4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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