Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
