there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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