i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize