you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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