its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That accounts for only three of the penises
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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