Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
