He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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