I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
