we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize