come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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