she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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