you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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