he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
