YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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