You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
