when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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