Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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