No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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