Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
