Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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