GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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