he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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