Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Who died my cat blue again?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
