At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
50% drunk capacity currently
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
