could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
