I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
