Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
