You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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