Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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