The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
