Little spoons don't ask big questions
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
