did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Im part way to drunk.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
