No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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