Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize