How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
