I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
