dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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